Want to know the number 1 Relationship Saver skill?

How many times has a simple chat with your man turned into a blazing row?

You went to him, telling him about your day (he did ask) and you took that as a sign to tell him generic stuff, then lead into what/who really annoyed you.

He listened for a bit, then went on to give you a solution to deal with it/them in future, what you need to do and what he thinks about it, what he would have done and what you should do now.

Aaaargh!!!!

Expecting sympathy, instead you get practical advice.

“If I want advice, I will ask for it!” “Don’t tell me what to do!” “Did you even hear what I just said?”

He loves you and his instinct is to make things better for you. It’s what guys do.

You love him and expected him to show sympathy for your plight and say something to make you feel better, smooth away the roughness.

This is a classic and all too familiar story and it’s to do with communication. Communication between the genders is totally different to that between the same gender.

Guys fix problems. Logical, left brain engaged, get it done, sorted.

Your girlfriend would have given you the sympathy and probably gone on to tell you about a similar situation, then a few biscuits and cup of coffee later, you will be laughing and forget all about it.

ALERT: HE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

Don’t expect the same response! However, guys, this is what she wants to hear, so give it to her!

Men need to LEARN how to hold back from advice giving, and be better listeners, not passive listeners, but tune into their feminine for just a second and show you hear her, yes, the thing that was annoying was annoying, and you can see how upsetting it must have been. FULL STOP.

If she then asks for advice, then you can say what you have surpressed and offer the advice, but really, she is listening out for the signal YOU CARE ABOUT HER FEELINGS.

That is the core distinction. Something that will be a comforting and pleasant 5 minute conversation versus a 2 hour blazing row and a day of sulking afterwards. Guys, you really need to learn this, trust me, it will be worth your while. Being adamant your way is the right way will not do your relationship any favours at all.

Master this communication skill and it will be a relationship saver and she will honestly see you in a whole new light and to see her light up will be worth it.

To be honest, it has taken my husband a long time to learn this one, it is such a common problem. I went into sulk mode, he apologised and said and did all the right things to make up for it,  and all is well in the world again.

This little clip illustrates the point I’m making perfectly!

Has this happened to you? Share a such time and what you learned from it in the comments below! I’d love to know!

 

Until next time,

To your goodness and your gorgeousness,

 


It’s Not About the Nail from Jason Headley on Vimeo.

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