What is the Key to Happiness? (…It’s not what you think…)

They don’t teach happiness in school. I should know, as an ex-school teacher it wasn’t a specific curriculum subject. Do parents teach happiness? Can happiness even BE taught? It’s just a state of being, right?
My grand-neice (I know!!) is two. Watching her explore emotions is utterly delightful 🙂 The confused look, the stubborn look, the curious look and of course the gorgeous gigglepot of happiness! You know happy, and it is infectious!
So what happens to happiness when we get older? We think ‘things’ will make us happy. New shoes (well, yes, that works), compliments, sealing the deal, cheeky messages from your man, all make us feel happy in the moment.
So what is the key to happiness? Sure, material things can definitely make you feel good, cherished, appreciated, proud, happy. But going shopping (or eating) isn’t the answer!
It’s all about a shift. A movement from where you are to something better. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The key to happiness is Progress. Progress is all about stepping up.

Think about it. If you are stuck, are you happy? No. Are you making progress if you are stuck? No.
Getting off the sofa and going for a walk, a run, having a dance or going to the gym – do you feel happier? Yes (you might ache a bit, but the release of happy hormones through moving, make you feel happy!).
Relationship getting boring and predictable? Do you feel happy? No. Something needs to shift, there needs to be progress in your relationship, which is why ‘keeping the spark alive’ actually is so important on so many levels.

You can do things which make you feel happy, but what if after a while, those things don’t do it for you anymore? That’s why we need progress. Between knowing it and it happening though, there is a gap. What stops us moving forward? What stops us making progress?


Good old F*** Everything And Run.

Redefining Fear will Free you. Once you are Free you will make Progress. Progress is the Key to Happiness. I have so much to say about fear and the elements of neuro psychology – way too much for one blog post, so I am creating a webinar and content and coaching materials to help address this thing. Of course, the best thing to do would be to contact me regarding the Goodness Gorgeous Me Breakthrough , where in a live one-to-one session, I help you totally get over the fears and push through to the other side where progress is waiting for you to take charge. Stop living on this side. You know you deserve better. You know you have a lot to offer the world. Stop letting fear hold you back. Tools and strategies don’t get to the root of the problem. There needs to be a shift and you know it. You want to be happy right? Stop self-sabotaging. I can hold a safe place for you during the breakthrough – it’s what you have been waiting for and what Goodness Gorgeous Me is all about.

We all have fears. Fear will never go away. That is the reality. The key to happiness is progress. It is also self-esteem, self love and self-appreciation. A change of mindset, gratitude and taking time to connect with your very soul can be done by everyone. It takes quietening the mind – and again, that’s where the gap appears, called fear. And bridging the gap is Progress.

I remember for a long time I used to play small, not speak up and blend into the background if I could. I was unhappy, now I think about it, because it felt as if everyone else was making progress, doing well and getting ahead, and I wasn’t. I thought my solution was learn more, more qualifications, more study, more skills and tools. But it wasn’t the solution. Stepping up, changing how you feel about fear and integrating the changes physically, spirtually and emotionally, and well as intellectually is the only way to get over it and progress to the other side, where you want to be, with all the joy, fulfilment and verve for life.

Next time I will share how to change how you feel about fear, or indeed change how you feel about anythng holding you back. I’m putting together some materials and am curious, would you prefer an ebook, a webinar or a coaching series? Or  all, or something else? Do leave me your comments about this post and share which medium you would prefer, it would be a great help! What do you do to get happy?

Here’s something for you to dance along to. Enjoy! 🙂

To your goodness and your gorgeousness,

Click here to book your Discovery coaching session




  1. It’s amazing how much more we can achieve once we’ve identified the fears that hold us back. And we can then dance with our fears rather than fight them or bury them deep inside.

    So funny that you’ve included the wonderful Happy video! My son just got a solo part in the upcoming Spring concert at school – singing this song 🙂

    Here’s to happiness!!!

    • Great to hear from you Kelly! Yep- dancing with fear, what a concept! Glad you enjoyed the video too, and big congrats on your son’s achievements! (Proud mum!) x

  2. To get happy, I think of the basics in my life and remember to be thankful for them. Sounds so cliche but it’s true for me.

    I also agree that making a move can change things. Progress of any kind feels good!

    P.S. How about a webinar?

    • Camesha! Thanks for commenting 🙂 Gratitude absolutely creates a massive shift. Recalling past experiences of joy, love, excitement, gratitude and holding them in our heart, can’t help but put a smile on your face. Webinar sounds good.. !Thanks x

  3. “the gorgeous gigglepot of happiness” . . . how i love this description of your two-year-old grand-niece’s contagious glee, farah! why do things get so complicated as we mature? there are wonderful lessons to be learned from the very young, and you are wise to have such awareness. (love your acronym too!)

    • April! Thank you for your lovely comment 🙂 We have references for fear as a child. When we grow up, other incidents occur and when we dont get love, we attribute fear instead, as a safety mechanism. It is fascinating. I will write more on what happens as we grown up and why we complicate things, in another post. Hope to continue the convo then!!

  4. It’s so true, I was just having this convo the other day about why don’t they teach skills like confidence, kindness and happiness in school. That song is great too – you can’t not dance around grinning to it

    • Hey Star! It’s a funny one this.. I used to be a teacher and know, though not explicitly, teachers do teach confidence, kindness and happiness by example, and school is a multi-layered learning environment; as is home, parenting and family life and all the other influences we have growing up. Love teaches us everything. Catchy tunes can’t help but put you in a great mood – sing it loud and proud girl!

  5. ‘Happiness’ just happens to be my ‘one little word’ for the year, so I am getting to explore happiness in some new ways for me… It’s very much the journey and the destination! C xo

    • Oh I am so pleased, and what a wonderful word for the year Cat!! Would love to hear how you explore happiness 🙂

  6. Yes, I have seen fear stop me in my tracks all too often. That’s when I call upon a felt sense of courage and stay grounded in the deeper sense of knowing that most of my fears are totally unfounded, paper tigers just trying to keep me safe. And I breathe. And I move forward. Thank you for a thought provoking post.

    • Paper Tigers! Breathing is sooo underrated, don’t you think Sue Ann? Cheering you on in your greatness x

  7. Hi Farah, what a great reminder on how to keep fear from running the show. “A change of mindset, gratitude and taking time to connect with your very soul…” what a beautiful way to approach each day, and for making progress. 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration!

  8. Pharrell! Love that song. He’s going to be a coach on The Voice next season! I’m very attached to Usher, so I’m not happy about this. But I suppose that I should embrace change instead of fear it, right? 😀 Nice post, Farah.

    • Love it Michelle! Happy music is always uplifting! Infinite gratitudet to all the incredible artists who’s mission is to move us 🙂

  9. I’ve battled with this one a lot myself. The age old enemy ‘fear’. Very inspirational post Farah 🙂

    • Hi Ruth, thank you for commenting 🙂 Fear never goes away, it’s all about the meaning we attach to it. Happy to know you liked it x

  10. This is so true, Farah! Great sentiment and interesting that as we get older we seem to miss the happy moments that should satisfy us, but can unfortunately be missed in our busy lives.

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